Gen Z sweeps Hawthorne election

For a politician who has spent nearly a decade treating every election like a civilization-ending battle for America’s survival, Donald Trump is reportedly sounding strangely checked out about the one contest that could determine whether the rest of his second term turns into a legislative bloodbath.

Yesterday afternoon, while browsing the discarded items section on my LocalAll neighborhood feed, I saw a listing for a heavy, scratched electronic safe left on a curb three blocks away. The owner claimed they lost the combination code and just wanted the heavy metal box gone. …

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